Why and When I missed the bus

Since majority of the people who know me may not read this in the immediate future, there’s atleast one comment that I am sure I will avoid, the ‘tell me something new’ one.

So, today again I missed the bus. Ya ya.. I have the alarm more than ahead of the required time. (To the guy who said I have to re schedule my alarm 10 mins earlier than now). The thing with me is, since I know that alarm is a bit early, I snooze it and eventually miss the next one. Or sometimes I do wake up early and then since I have buffer time, I add so many things to do that I end up missing it. What? Did I hear you ask me how is it even possible? Picture this. I have 10 mins for the bus, then I think, since I have time, I can probably apply water or gel or oil to the porcupiny hair on my head. I still have sometime shayad, should soap wash my hand and also water the plant. Check time. If it is not 1 min to the bus time then(most times it is 1 min past).. check bag for all items..And I find some item that is missing or one that I can add (biscuit packet, earphone, deo etc). Today it was wallet.

Shit.. I am late. 

Run to the bus stop. If colleagues are present, then endure the ‘next milkha singh’, ‘always-fitness’, ‘bus is late today’, type comments. Today: No colleagues! Ok, superman plan B button – ON. Check for taxi to catch bus..(If you are still picturing me, then imagine 2 mins of checking 3 directions)…Hammaya! Here comes one.

Bhaiya: center chalo (it is a place where atleast 4 buses pass thru). 

Chicha: (begins the let_me_take_all_signal routes_and_catch_them_red)

Me: bhaiya , bus pakadna hai .. jaldi chalo na.
He (leaving the turn where one signal and sail away route for the no more signal route): udhar se jaayega toh ek aur signal hai.. idhar se jaayega to kabhi kabhi traffic milta.

Should you guess? We are greeted by a convoy specially designed for chicha to ensure I miss the bus. What does SRK say.. ‘puri kaaynaat’? You meet me once SRK.
10 mins of frustration later I reach the stop. I could have called my bus driver to check if I can still catch him, but I don’t want him to use the phone while driving.. so I wait. Thankfully a bus from the same bus provider comes. I wave frantically, climb the bus and see there is no one I recognize.

Me thinking to myself: Is this my company bus only?What if the same provider also uses his bus for other companies? I thought the lady sitting in the front seat looked like the talkative impression giving aunty of the other building. Ahem! She is probably just older than me. Let me listen to what the neighbors are talking. Aiyo I don’t know what they are talking.

Thankfully one of my late lateef brethrens called the bus driver who used his ear phones and mentioned my company name. Did I say oh good? Enter Traffic cop. He fines the driver. Poor guy, driver says to the cop that the bus was giving some problem so he was trying to call for help..but fine is not IamFine na. Usually the drivers don’t lift calls unless they are at stops. But with me carrying my special day aura with me..

So we are 8 mins down the road.. and bus does get stuck on some kucha road. Abbe oo SRK, driver was not asking this, why does your kaaynaat misunderstand people?

Thankfully after sometime the bus could move..

..I had started typing this as soon as I climbed the bus, but the writing material supply just didn’t seem to stop. But I should, I am right now in front of my desk and the manager has already greeted me good morning .. and I had a mobile in hand. I quickly wished him back and started using my system mouse. He smiled and asked me to switch on the PC first.

Raama Raama!

The dentist comes home

I woke up to a sudden, unexpected invigilation of my teeth by the dentist today. It’s my wife’s doing, She invited the dentist over, pointing the unassuming me to her, there’s no doubt about that.

One look into the sparkling eyes of this dentist and I knew I wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’ to her. She’s got those eyes which could even get Rajinikanth to say ‘RajiniCant’. She somehow pried open my jaws with her fingers, inspected the molars and pre-molars, and gave an inquiring ‘haa?’;

Her expression piqued my own senses, I asked her if it was that bad; but I am sure she never understood my words with my mouth that full. I feared she might consider investigating my throat with her able nimble fingers. She sure looked like she intended to.

Continue reading “The dentist comes home”

The case of the missing bill

Today’s was a guiltily happy day at work. “Why?” you’d ask. What why? Shouldn’t I have a happy day?..

I came across this blog of Narendra Shenoy and have been giggling or laughing away to myself. I shared it on whatsapp, made fun of a cousin in the cousins group and hello, my wife, who is also part of that whatsapp group calls me. Now, I don’t think one should think this way, but somehow I always misinterpret if my wife calls, if I am active on whatsapp. This time I assumed that since she saw me active on one whatsapp group, in office hours, obviously I am not busy with work. Which wasn’t entirely wrong (grins).

As parents of an 8 month old infant, we tend to discuss a lot about the baby and my wife had to explain how my daughter had slept for 2 hours straight after her food (she had woken us up early today and kept playing with us to wake us up early too). After narrating this, she had nothing else to add, usually there is, ‘get this or that while returning’. The mocking skunk that I am, I replied it with a, “hey, today I have work to give for you” (bless the poor thing, she ignores my satire), “..the towel that we had planned to exchange today(it had a hole), search for its bill”, I said.

She groaned with an “abba…” and I chuckled at her misery. “The cooking needs to be done, baby food to be prepared and fed, and I am hungry too”, she continued. “Search in your wallet na, maybe you placed it there”. I had opened my wallet earlier in the day for breakfast and checked for the bill already, so I informed her.

After around 2 hours, my wife called again, “are you sure you don’t have it with you? Nothing on the sofa, or on the beds” Continue reading “The case of the missing bill”