Twitchy fingers, itchy brain

Dear Dimpi,
Now that you can read, it feels weird that I am writing this for you, instead of saying it directly. I will use a few heavy words so that you can make more sense of them when you get to read them again later in life ? (Baba could have used ‘comprehend’ here, dear future Dimpi).

First thing first, BABA LOVES YOU. Aai loves you too. But this is Baba writing, so of course Baba will talk about his thoughts na. This morning, while Baba and Aai were discussing about your birthday celebrations, you took your school book out and started practicing your dictation words all by yourself. I stopped talking mid sentence and was just smiling looking at what you were doing. Your mom gets jealous when I look at you lovingly, smiling to myself, like this. But you do give these heart melting moments even now.

You are six now, you try not to hurt others feelings (unless you are occupied) and are fairly sensible most times. It is a trait I adore in you the most.
Take for example, when your mom was isolating due to Covid. You were so mature that I hope I never forget it. At the end of the day, when I would start on the dishes, you insisted on doing the soaping duty. Not just a 1 day wonder, you did that for 3-4 days easily. You even reasoned with me saying “Baba, don loka kela tar easy asta ( if 2 people do this, then it becomes easy) “. So much that I had to hand you other responsibilities . You even gave me constructive feedback on my chapati making during those days ? (2nd day was better, yesterday it was a bit stiff).

Of all the things, if you are in your elements, you can also be amusingly funny. You like it when we laugh or enjoy your acts and are sportive even at my lamest jokes.

Mom: Remote kuthey gela re? (where is the remote?)
Me: Miss call de, milta kayki.
Dimpi: (Hand on your ear) Hello? Baba tey ring hot nahiye (not ringing).

This might give an impression that Baba might be your favorite among parents. No. Not sad to accept this publicly, but your mom has taken that slot over (for now). Earlier when mom asked that question you were diplomatic, but we knew the answer was me. Now your answer is ‘Aai’. You say it is because, when Baba disapproves your behavior it pricks and stays bitter. I though convince myself that this answer is probably because you think Dad can take this answer better than mom ? .

You feel Baba has stopped playing these days with you, he is mostly busy. But what you will probably recollect much later when you grow up is that, you and Baba have together completed 7 books of Harry Potter in the past 6 months. Books. Not movies.
I will write a separate post on this later. But the amount of re-runs you did for first 4 movies, you reduced them for the last few (Movie could be watched only after that part has been narrated).
I intentionally switched on the captions for the movies and you instinctively read them out while watching the re-runs.
Since book 5, I started narrating chapter wise and probably this made you not re-watch the other movies as much as the first 4. Or it might be because those suited your current age. More on these thoughts later. Yes, this did excite us to have a Harry Potter themed Birthday this year and you liked it a lot. You laughed and explained that ‘Ministry of magic’ entrance to your friend too (stuck above the WC)

I am sure that we will still have other memorable moments in our lives further ahead. Have dared and added a pic below. I look at pics like these and think, you may have grained in your mom’s stomach, but you chose a different one to grow on.

So, I am in this metro now. And I’ve decided I will start writing, or typing, this instant. No more procrastinating.

I have an uncle sleeping with his chin resting on his chest. Sleeping. No snoring, wah.. wish I could do that. His hairs are all white too. The beard white mixing with his scalp white across his sidelocks. But I do need to tell why I chose him to describe. Thats because he has his shirt button open. Or broken? I can’t see if there’s a button.. and he is not conscious about it.

Then now to this guy standing right in front of me. Both his hands up, holding the hand railings (is that what they are called?) This guy seems to be having a constant smirk on his face. The left side of his upper lip, a bit raised, as if he is smirking at me for sitting comfortably while he stretches both his hands to hold on. What else do I notice? He has a brown belt on his blueish black jeans. With 2 holes of his belt slightly used, but the third is being used. Matlab? Saala reduced 2 inches of his tummy? He doesn’t look like he ever had the fat on! Huh.. jaa re, i am yet to reduce such inches on my belt.

Now to the guy on my right. He seemed to want this attention. He had held his phone in his hand and suddenly shook and caught his phone before it fell of his hands. Good catch, but hey, your phone screen is already cracked. Oo hoo.. seems like you are my brother :-p. Wait, you are wearing your watch on right hand. Ahaa.. so you are in the, ‘i want to be different than others’ mind set aa! I was in those stages many times. All the best man. Mai likhteich uth gaya utarne.. jaa tera character khatam.

My stop is still 3 stops away. Looks like this lady beside me is a chatter box. Probably mallu, but her tongue seems to be pronouncing sanskrit to me. With the occasional english added in.

So we shared 20 mins of our life together people. None of you will know me. Nor will I know you even if we met. But safe travel junta. I rush of for the dussehra bhojnam early from office. Tata

I was always advised, “do an MBA, it will open many doors for opportunities”, I ended up doing post graduate diploma and not, MBA, probably this is the reason why I never find an open bathroom door . Why else would it be that today, a guy actually opens the esteemed door to come out and then looking at me, slammed the door shut!  I consoled myself that he probably forgot to complete his primary purpose of visit, a possibility confirmed after I heard a few sounds which vaguely sounded like elephant sneezes. Thank god my highly efficient hydraulic brake system successfully sent back the ‘wait’ signal to the liquid dispatching section, the motion was almost approved.

Much to my amusement, I’ve observed that whenever I bring my flashy little water  bottle, my office floor temperature begins on its task of promoting the winters of Kashmir.We have 3 WCs and no urinals per floor ( and I sit on the other end of the other wing of my floor) and by the time I reach the washroom I am already in the stage of the lighted batti of a hydrogen bomb (Google Diwali bombs if you are that one Ethiopian reader of mine). I look at myself in the mirror, walk around as if I am on invigilation rounds and keep guessing if I have heard a flush somewhere. If nothing for a minute, then the walk back begins. Another time my friend, another time.  I remember reading that drinking loads of water improves your fitness level – that guy probably works on the same floor as I do.

I am more scared of the portly ones, so I usually make it a point not to enter the premises if they are in the vicinity, because

a. they would have so much to contribute

b. they may have so much possible legacy to leave behind.

So my dear readers, I have evolved and matured to a great understanding of the self and wish to share these with you.

• Even if there are no premonitions of the grand performance approaching, it is advised to occupy the throne and plan the day calendar on the thought-pot. You can always read THIS blog for motivation.
• Get rid of the ‘pehle aap’ disease, because, refer to point b above. Also, sometimes I only have water donation program and the other may have an Ekta Kapoor serial planned.
• If by rare chance, you find a vacant cabin, check if the jet faucet and others have ammunition (Previous experiences and visuals need not be shared for reference).

And yes, convinced as you (kyatobhi) are, an MBA degree wouldn’t have ensured an open door, it does not stand for Master of Bathroom Avenues.